2 months old...

i can't believe aj is another month older! we had his 2 month wellness check up today and he did very well! you know, other than the loud crying when he got his 3 shots. =( he's progressing along well...he's pretty proportioned in terms of his percentile. he now weighs 12 lbs 2 oz and his head circumference is 15.75 inches (both of which are in the 50% percentile). he is 23.5 inches tall which puts him cusping the 75% percentile.

so what has changed since last month? i think the biggest development is that he is so engaged now. he loves to socialize and hang out with friends and family. he loves to make eye contact and follow people's movements. he doesn't have any problems being carried by different people and being passed along moving from one set of arms to another. he is very active. somehow, while being swaddled in his sleep, he moves his body ninety degrees and is in a completely different position than how we had put him down.

i had been feeding aj every 3 hours and would sometimes have to wake him up to feed him. the pediatrician said i no longer have to do that since he's at a good weight. in the evenings, he does tend to eat sooner than 3 hours. the doctor said it's probably because i don't have as much milk in the evenings as i don't get the rest that i properly need during the day and also because he's 'storing' some milk to get him through the night. i never really thought babies knew to do that! and speaking of feeding, i am happy to report that breastfeeding is definitely better now. it's still not pain free but i've survived another month!

s and i have noticed that aj has a very serious demeanor. we don't know why but he has this look like he's stressed out about something. he does smile and laugh but it does take him a while to warm up; he normally just stares. our college friends say that must be from his parents and our 'deadly' stares from our fraternity / sorority days.

i do have somewhat of a routine with aj. i take him out everyday. we try to venture out at least twice - working around his feeding schedule of course. i usually try to do one trip shopping; alternating between burlingame, hillsdale, stanford and target. then we'll usually make a 2nd trip out on a walk around the neighborhood. i definitely try to do 2 trips out now before it starts to get too wet and cold outside. it's also a good way for me to get some 'exercise'.

here are some pics of aj with some friends: coincidentally, the 3 infants below were all born in september!

r and aj scoping each other out

ummm...despite the age difference...uncle m and aj have the same hairstyle going...

aj was too busy sleeping to hang out with k

x and aj were actuallly due a week from one another but x came 4 weeks earlier than expected

i guess this is how infants 'hang out'?

work update...

aj and i made a trip to work to drop off some christmas gifts for my team and boss. i was so proud of aj because he was on his best behavior! he was asleep when i first got to work but when he woke up, he was making eye contact with everyone and cooing! i got a lot of grief for not dressing him in any gymboree clothes. as i told everyone at work...he wears whatever is handed down to him. unfortunately, that means no gymboree clothes!

the timing to visit work was quite appropriate as i had to chat with my boss about a press release from monday. it is definitely a different approach as most companies would just lay-off employees. as expected, it was received with mixed feelings. in a very instinctual reaction, people would naturally be pissed. i can understand that perspective but from a more holistic view, i accept this without any resentment. (not saying i won't miss the money that i'm losing because we can all use money)! the economy is just soo tough right now and we should all be very grateful for our jobs. to have even more people looking for jobs now would just be so awful. if a paycut can prevent us from laying people off, i completely support that. however, s believes that laying off people would "eliminate the fat". however, we are a very lean company and we don't have any "fat" to trim. or last least i don't work with anyone who i would consider "fat". so not exactly the best "christmas gift" from work but you go with the flow right?

other than this "bad" news, it was nice to be back at work. it was great to see everyone and they were so excited to meet aj. i do have to admit, it made me *miss* work. i told my boss that i'd be back end of february / early march and my boss said, "it's up to you; when you are ready." it's nice that he is flexible.

oh, christmas tree...

this past weekend, we went out to get aj's first christmas tree! i just love the smell of a fresh christmas tree!! we wanted to get the tree up earlier as we had to take pictures for our christmas cards. s and i didn't want to be in the picture so we had to be a bit creative in getting aj in front of the tree by himself. the final picture we selected wasn't perfect but it'll do for a 7 week old baby! i've always loved christmas but now it means so much more with aj!

i also went to the mall with my mom, aj and my nephew to take their pictures with santa. of course, aj was totally oblivious so he was fine. we just have a problem getting him to look at the camera! my poor nephew, on the other hand, was completely frightened by santa. he wouldn't even get near him! even with aj on santa's lap, my nephew would not warm up to santa. hopefully, my sister will have better luck when she tries to take him to see santa again!

our finished tree

my 2 favorite baby boys!

my cutest nephew

20 lbs lighter...

but 15 more to go! =( i had my 6 week check up with my ob doc and everything is okay. i didn't really have a specific number of pounds that i was hoping to lose but i guess it's a step in the right direction that it was slightly more than half the pregnancy weight gain.

i also have what feels like this nasty bruise that i wanted to make sure was just a clogged duct and luckily it is. it's slowly getting better but still hurts quite a bit.

yesterday, i had what hopefully was my final appointment with the lactation consultant! although i'm not quite loving breast feeding, at least i'm not dreading it anymore. it still hurts as i have some painful letdowns but at least it's getting better!

aj hit the 6 week mark earlier this week and is now at 10 lbs 3 oz! he definitely is more engaging; looking and starting at people. he loves to stick his tongue out and pucker his lips (though, not at the same time). he LOVES to stretch - whenever we remove his swaddling blanket, is done feeding, or changing his diaper, he stretches out his arms and legs!

to vacation or not?

s' office is shut down for 2 weeks during the week of christmas and new year's. rarely do we have 2 weeks off so i REALLY want to take advantage of this and travel somewhere. however, we don't know whether to take aj with us or not. and if we do or don't, we don't know where to go. normally, the easy answer is vegas but that would definitely be a aj-less trip and i'm not sure if i'm ready to do that. it is very tempting - i haven't been to vegas in 3 years and it's so cheap now!!!!
help? any advice or suggestions are definitely welcomed!!

just chillin

this is just such an adorable picture of my nephew...

we were just eating dinner and all of a sudden, we turn and see him with this pose!

1 month old...

wow, i can't believe aj is already 1 month old! as i reflect back on this last month...

1) life changes...
it's amazing how life has changed! (no shit i know huh?) s and i are obviously a family of 3 and aj is our number one priority.
- most of our conversations revolve around our child and his pooping / eating / sleeping habits
- eating is no longer enjoyable as it's a race to finish before aj starts crying or getting fussy
- anywhere we go revolves around his feeding schedule (well, not like i've really gone anywhere but more on that below...)
- sleep will never be the same. =( i no longer use my mouthpiece at night because i'm not asleep long enough to get into a deep sleep and start grinding my teeth
- i'm the most paranoid person now when it comes to how aj is doing and making sure he's okay

2) "doing the one month"
there is a VERY traditional chinese ritual of having the mother / child stay home for a month after the birth of their child. it really revolves around replenishing the mother's body after birth with warmth and heat. if followed, this will keep a woman in better health condition as she gets older. in true old fashion tradition, one is not suppose to shower or wash their hair for an entire month. you also can not leave the house. one must be well covered as to not catch any chills or have your skin exposed to the wind / cold air. there is a very strict diet - no cold drinks or food. your diet revolves around ginger, chicken and soup. so...yes, i actually followed this tradition...to a certain degree. i didn't shower for almost a week and didn't wash my hair for 2 weeks. i didn't leave the house for a month except for doctor appointments and for an entire month, only ate gingered chicken and eggs, rice, chicken soup and hot water. surprisingly, it wasn't that bad. i think it was harder for s as he had to go out and run all our errands.

3) emotional roller coaster
i think i cried more in aj's first 2 weeks than the last 10 years! i haven't cried this much since we had drama in our sorority. 95% of the crying came from breast feeding. i was so much more sensitive to issues / problems that i was experiencing.

4) breast feeding
wow, if there was a more humbling experience - it would be breast feeding. i've always been one to strive for the best and do all the necessary research to be good at something but when it's completely out of your control, it's such a helpless and frustrating feeling. after reading everything possible online and in brochures and seeing various lactation consultants, i've done all i can to help aj latch on correctly. although it has gotten slightly (as in a minuscule amount) better than a couple of weeks ago, it's still very painful (in the sense of sore and throbbing pain). aj's mouth is opening bigger and he is using his tongue at times but it's still not this pain-free, wonderful bonding experience that everyone keeps referring to.
on top of that, i do have a slight over supply problem on one side (i know, better than low supply). however, it is very painful and having hard areolas doesn't help the situation as that makes it harder for aj to latch on well.
since breast feeding is still quite painful, i only do it during the day and pump twice at night. i also only give one breast at each feeding and my body has not adjusted to this schedule yet.

5) "deep conversations" with hubby
even though having a child is an incredibly amazing bonding experience with the hubby, there were also some heart - to - heart conversations that we had and would obviously never have had if it weren't for having a baby.

timing was bad with s' work. he had a launch the week after he went back to work so he was VERY busy at work and had to occasionally work on weekends and evenings. i felt that he was choosing work as the priority over our baby and that was extremely frustrating for me. obviously, he wasn't but i, of course, was overly sensitive and perceived it that way. the funny thing is how ironic is it for me to think that? i have always been the workaholic and willingly spend more time working on weekends and evenings than s. for me to say this to him, man, things are different! it actually makes me wonder what my state of mind will be when i go back to work!?

s and i also don't agree on the issue of aj's crying. s believes in tough love and will let aj cry for almost an hour. i've tried to tell s that at this early stage in his life, he's just trying to communicate to us and wants to be held. there is no such thing as spoiling a baby. also, when aj's arms are shaking and his face is completely red, it's pretty tough for me to ignore that. i mean, i can for five or ten minutes...but times five and that's definitely a no-no for me.

6) unconditional love
even though i've listed these 5 reflections that might not appear to be very encouraging, i have to say it's all worth it. aj is just so precious. i swear i can stare at him all day. well, unless he's crying but even then he has this most adorable pout right before he starts crying. hahaa. i can also spend all day kissing his cheeks. i also love seeing how s holds and talks to aj - it brings me such warm fuzzies!

aj ready to go out for a walk with daddy
(apparently, everyone says he's a spitting image of s)

my 2 favorite boys...

nap time for father and son

aj's superman pose

2 week check up

today, s and i took aj to his 2 week pediatric appointment. great news...he is well above his birth weight! he now weighs 7 lbs 8.5 oz and grew an inch to 21 inches now! jaundice is gone, his umbilical stump fell off mid last week and he's peeing and pooping like crazy!

i haven't really mentioned much about his sleeping pattern and our adjustment to parenthood. overall, i do have to say that s and i are very blessed with a fairly mellow newborn (let's hope this isn't a jinx). he sleeps quite a bit - at night, he sleeps at least 3-hour or 4-hour intervals. he wakes up to get his diaper changed and fed and we just put him back to sleep. i mean, it's still tough since we do get up every couple of hours but we aren't up for very long. well, unless he has an explosion and then s will have to change his entire outfit which is a bit tough when you are half awake.

since i am still having breastfeeding issues, i do pump in the middle of the night and s gives him the bottle. i do feel bad for s since he is back at work but i just can't get up to change, pump and feed him. i do try to give him a break if i'm breastfeeding but that's usually in the morning and he's already up getting ready for work so he only gets to "sleep in" on the weekends.

i'm still trying to figure out the right balance of pumping and breastfeeding. i know i need to breastfeed more to "toughen" up my nipples / breasts and to get aj to be a better nurser. however, he just made one of my nipples bleed again; so i'm trying to give it a break because it just gets worse each time he goes on the breast since he still isn't latching on correctly. so i'm still trying to get aj to latch on correctly. he still pinches a bit but i'm just trying to hang on until it gets better (that's what keeps me going is the assumption that it WILL get better).

happy halloween...

my little cow on his 1st halloween

my precious pumpkin nephew

cow + pumpkin