chapter 3 : recovery / breastfeeding

can i just start off by saying...wow, if anyone ever needs a topic to test one's mental and physical state of mind - breastfeeding is the perfect subject. needless to say, breastfeeding is certainly my worst enemy right now. when i first got out of the hospital, i thought my recovery was going to be painful. sitting and lying down was painful due to my hemorrhoids. i was dreading my first bowel movement because i didn't want to strain and tear my stitches (even though everyone says that's almost impossible). my back was sore from the epidural. before i was fat and pregnant - now i was just fat! and of course, with a vaginal delivery, you are swollen and have to put due diligence to clean the area as to not develop any infections. so with all of that and having this newborn to take care of, you can see how one can be physically and mentally drained and overwhelmed. everyone tells me you forget the pain...but seriously, how can you? even though i am SO blessed to see my precious peanut and amazed at the fact that he is all mine (and s' of course), the pain is just so fresh (yes, obviously it is since it's only been a week).

however, everything is relative. now my recovery is a walk in the park compared to my battle with breastfeeding. i don't think aj ever latched on correctly. although i was getting colostrum and my milk was coming in, it was a very painful process. aj was pinching my breast which of course is wrong and once i got home, i slowly started to feel a lot of soreness and saw my cracked breasts. however, i know aj was getting the milk because he was swallowing. not only was i experiencing sore and cracked breasts, i was getting engorged by the end of the week. it was very painful and i decided to make an appointment for a lactation consultant but they weren't available on weekends so i had to make an appointment for monday.